turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
