i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
