just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
