dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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