okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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