I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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