And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Who died my cat blue again?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
