I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
