I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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