You work out of a Hotel?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize