i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
