I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
