Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I cut my penus on the lid.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
