im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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