I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize