when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
