help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
