I think i peed on brittanys purse
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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