Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
