Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
