im six kinds of drunk right now
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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