he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
