just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
