Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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