you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize