I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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