mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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