Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
