I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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