Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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