This is not my ceiling
i would punch a child for taco bell
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
