i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
