GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
