Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize