her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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