so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Fuck appropriateness.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
