Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
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