is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Randomize
