her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I think i got beer on your cat.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
