Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
As shirtless as possible
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
