How'd it feel making her break her religion?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
