I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
