I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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