Your dad touched me again.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
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