my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
