my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I have fence marks all over my body
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
