Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
