TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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