The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
