I cannot find my penis.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
