you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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