Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
