like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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