And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
