so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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