Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
