yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
