I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
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