Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize