I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
