Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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