i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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