He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
