i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
