I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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