Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
